quick update (lots of info)

k so not sure when i did my last update of the new family photo if i explained much. in september we found out we were pregnant again and were crazy excited. yes taylor was only 6 months old at the time, and no it was not an accident. went in for the first appt and got an all clear that everything was looking good. a couple weeks later i got a really painful cramp and then some bleeding and went back to the dr right away. he checked me out and determined that i was carrying TWINS but that it looked like one was miscarrying. not much he could do about preventing the lose of the one baby, but we were grateful that the other baby was looking good moving around and showing a strong fast heartbeat. went back a week later and the miscarriage was confirmed as the sac was shrinking and empty. the other baby was still growing big and looking strong. i never had anymore cramping or bleeding, but the dr said sometimes it just reabsorbs back into your body and never causes a problem. well i went back for my monthly appt on tuesday and discovered that the remaining baby no longer had a heartbeat. he checked me with two different types of ultrasound machines and neither showed a heartbeat or any blood flow thru the baby. he had me come back today to double confirm just to make sure tuesday wasnt just a freak occurrence but we got the same results today. since then i have started bleeding but still no cramping at all. we decided to go ahead and schedule a D&C procedure for tomorrow. if you dont know what that involves look it up on google. this will be our second pregnancy loss, but this time it feels like two separate all in one just since the two babies were lost a month apart. my dr is fairly confident i dont have any fertility issues since i have two healthy kids, but he said he can check my hormone levels should we try again later. we are doing ok emotionally because we know its nothing that we caused and its all part of the big plan. nothing we can explain so there's not really any point freaking out about it. we are very sad to not be adding another member to our family this summer, but it really makes me appreciate the two kids i already have. even landen when he's being a monster beast! i think this will make me sit back and try to enjoy my kids more and not let them get me frustrated as much. we arent sure when we want to start trying again but we do still feel like there are more little babies waiting to join our family.
oh also on a side note, we found out missing camera. guess the carpet guys didnt steal it after all LOL. and we took lots of pics over the holidays so i promise to catch up majorly. i just might be outta commission for the next few days. maybe ill do it while im resting tomorrow and saturday. give me something positive to do and keep my mind off other issues. so until then
ADIOS